Hello beautiful soul
I was sitting in a cafe in New York the other day romantisicing my whole life with a tahini soft serve of dreams. And I heard something from the table next to me that stopped me slurp.
"You cannot speak butterfly language to caterpillar people."
I do not know exactly who said it. I do not know what conversation it came from. But I pause my love affair with the soft serve for a moment because something in me went — yes. That is it. That is exactly it.
So many of the women I know and work with are already butterflies.
I mean that.
You have already done the hard thing. The metamorphosis. The shedding. The season of being completely unrecognisable to yourself before you became more yourself than you have ever been. You have already lived through the part that nobody sees — the inside of the cocoon, the dissolving, the not knowing what you are becoming.
And now you are out. You are here. You are speaking from that place — seeing the world with a clarity and a creativity and a particular kind of knowing that not everyone around you has access to yet.
And sometimes you share what you see. You say the thing. You offer the perspective. You speak in the language that feels most true to you.
And it lands flat.
And you wonder — is it me? Am I too much? Am I not making sense? Should I translate myself into something smaller, something safer, something more digestible?
No honey.
You are just speaking butterfly language to caterpillar people.
And that is not a flaw. That is a frequency mismatch.
The caterpillar is not wrong. They are just not there yet. They are still in the becoming. And one day — maybe — they will emerge and look back and understand exactly what you were saying. But right now they cannot receive it. Not because your words are wrong but because their wings are not open yet.
This is one of the loneliest things about being a woman who has done and is in "the work".
You see things others cannot see yet. You feel things more acutely. You have already survived the dissolving — often alone, often without anyone naming what was happening to you — and now you are standing in rooms full of people still in the cocoon wondering why you feel so unseen.
That loneliness is real. And it deserves to be named.
But here is where I want to land with you today.
You are ALREADY the butterfly.
The question I am obsessed with — the one that drives everything I do in this work — is not how do we transform you. You do not need transforming.
The question is what would it look like if your wings were WIDER. If the colours were MORE VIVID. If you were so fully, so unapologetically, so RADIANTLY YOURSELF that the right people — the other butterflies — could not miss you from across the room.
Because they are out there. Other women who speak your language. Who see what you see. Who have done their own dissolving and emerged into their own particular kind of brilliant. Women who will not need you to translate yourself. Women who will meet you at your frequency and raise it.
That is what I am trying to build with Women Who Lead.
Not a transformation program. You are already transformed. This is an amplification. A place where butterflies find each other. Where the language you have been speaking into flat air finally lands — because everyone in the room already speaks it.
Seven women. Six months. Sisterhood, somatics and strategy.
The next group is forming now for September. I know, super early, right!? Not because I have the official launch planned haha, but because I already have 5 women who are already ready to lock in for it who are already in my ecosystem.
If something in this landed for you — if you read the words frequency mismatch and felt something move — set up a call with me here. Let's talk about your next chapter.
You were never the problem. You were just in the wrong room.
Rooting for you always
Ruth x
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