What if your whole life could feel like a delicious exhale...? 🙃

Hello beautiful soul

Okay this is a little spicy, but beat with me for a moment...

The greatest fear for women isn't always failure, we actually fear receiving.

Let that land for a moment.

Because when opportunity arrives at our doorstep—when the blessing knocks—our first instinct isn’t always to open the door.

Maybe we open the door, but even if we do, the next thing that comes is that we brace.

We question if we deserve it.
We then either shrink, stall, or sabotage.

And this isn’t personal—it’s nervous system training, which is why we need to break free from it and learn a new way.

The feminine nervous system and receiving

From a young age, women are groomed to over-give. Not just groomed though gang, we are actually taught to feel disgust when we see women who aren't doing that. At the rare times we see those vibrant versions of us, rather than saying, "We come in 'relaxed mode' too? Oh wow, I love that for us", the next response is more likely to be jealousy framed as judgement, "She's a little full of herself".

The Good Girl? Oh she's learnt to be helpful. Be nice. Anticipate everyone else’s needs. Be the person that remembers everything for everyone else, carrying cognitive burden that would melt most brains.

[And then we wonder why we forget some things, or our brain bounces in meetings FML 🙄]

That conditioning wires our nervous systems to be more comfortable in the posture of doing, giving, holding everything together—rather than opening, softening, receiving.

Receiving requires trust.
It requires safety.
It requires us to let down our guard.

But when fear has been the air we breathe, letting down our guard can feel impossible.

A quick experiment—try it now

Close your eyes for a second.

Notice your shoulders. Notice your breath.

Now imagine someone is about to offer you a gift—or an opportunity you’ve longed for.

First, brace against it.
Feel the shoulders creep up. The breath shorten. The body tighten.

Then, soften.
Let your shoulders drop. Let your breath deepen. Let yourself feel what it’s like to be open enough to receive.

Different, right?

This is the work. Learning to feel safe enough to receive what we’ve been asking for.

Client spotlight: Estee’s receiving practice

One of my brilliant 1:1 clients, Estee Chaikin, put it perfectly when I set her homework to explore what was missing in her life: receiving energy.

She wrote:

Estee nailed it. Receiving isn’t passive—it’s profound. It changes how you see, how you choose, and how you lead. It isn't about others necessarily always either, creating the space to receive from yourself, creates the space for others to come forward also. 

Don’t block your blessings

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen brilliant women self-sabotage right at the moment the blessing arrives.

The job offer. The relationship. The speaking opportunity. The raise.

Instead of saying yes, we over-explain.
We stall.
We minimise.
We question ourselves into paralysis.

Shit y'all, I have done this too. That's how I know this stuff. Because I am determined not to let us keep living like this.

In fear.
In protection.
With our nervous system doing its best to keep us “safe.”

But safety isn’t the same as freedom. And what is happening whilst it is doing that is that we are being fried alive from the inside. Our bodies never rest. The very cells of our bodies live in a state of hyper-vigilance. That constant dis-ease turns into real disease real fast if we aren't careful.

And my dear sister, if you keep blocking the blessing, you never get to feel what’s waiting on the other side of your deepest, most delicious yes.

Your invitation this week

First, you are now 100% responsible for giving to yourself. Where could you be receiving more of the care you give to others? Play yourself love songs that are written for others and start to let them land as if they are for you.

Second, notice one place in your life where opportunity is knocking.
And instead of questioning it—practice receiving it.

Take the breath. Drop the shoulders. Say thank you. Say yes.

Let yourself feel the difference between braced and receptive.

Because the lost art of receiving isn’t lost at all.
It’s right here, in your body, waiting to be remembered.

And if you get this right, your whole life starts to feel like an exhale.

If you are done bracing, done blocking the blessing, and ready to lead from that exhale—hit reply and let’s speak. I’m offering a free career strategy session. During that session, if it feels like a fit, I can share more about the next cohort of Women Who Lead or my 1:1 coaching. 

Rooting for you and your sweet exhale always
Ruth x

Ps. Did you catch me and my buddy Karl Stewart on LinkedIn live recently? He's so dope, and we spoke about the somatic experience a LOT.