Them: You can't make a big leap like that. Me: Watch this 👀

Hello beautiful soul

Them: You’ll have to take a step back if you want to make a big change in your career like moving from Talent to People.
Me: Oh really? Watch this.

Every time I wanted to make a big BOLD move in my career, I was told some version of not yet. Especially in the UK, where women’s ambition still makes people twitch.

I'd been leading teams in recruitment for over 15 years at this point so I had deep experience in building teams and leading. 

I knew I wanted more. I could see how much wasn't working and I wanted to be part of changing things for the better. But I loved the company I was working for. 

So I pitched a role that didn’t exist — a bridge from Talent into People that would plug the gaps that we had around culture, leadership and development.

Plot reveal: I was already doing all of that work as well as my own, this was really a formalising step.

But my boss? They smiled, and said "Great idea but not yet". But then came the cruel manipulation and attempt to gaslight me out of my ambition:
"Are you sure you even want this? People isn't like Talent, and I am not sure that's really your thing. You still need to work on these areas, in fact, why don't you reflect on this and see whether you are even cut out for this career?"

An earlier version of me might have taken them at their word and sunk into self doubt. But the version of me then was like: hell to the no.

I took their no, made it a not yet and turned it into fuel.

I stopped waiting for my genius to be discovered where I was and made my energy impossible to miss.

• I wrote. Blogs, posts, reflections — anything that carried my voice into rooms I wasn’t yet in.

• I showed my work. Shared what I was learning, building, noticing — imperfectly, but consistently.

• I did scary reps. Speaking gigs, panels, teaching yoga — all practice in being seen.

• I networked like it was oxygen. Coffee chats, intros, follow-ups. People knew me, not just my CV.

• I became referable. Clear story. Clear promise. Clear value.

• And I stopped performing small to make others comfortable.

These are just some of the magazine features from around that time, where I became one of the most influential people in my industry. 

Eighteen months later, three offers landed at once.
All brilliant. All possible.

I chose the one that would grow me the most: VP of People, leading a team of fifteen... with a £30k pay rise.

That didn’t happen because someone finally noticed me.
It happened because I made my signal visible.

Magnetism + discernment (and why it’s nervous system work)

Magnetism is when your external energy starts to match your internal coherence.
When your nervous system feels safe enough to expand, people feel it — they can sense your steadiness.

Here’s the science: 95% of how you show up in the world is automatic — driven by your nervous system, not your intellect. It’s a survival algorithm built from everything you’ve ever experienced.

When your system is dysregulated — stuck in fight, flight, or freeze — your body reads growth as danger. That’s why stepping into visibility, power, or ambition can feel terrifying, even when you want it.

But when you learn to regulate — to move from sympathetic overdrive (doing, proving, pleasing) into ventral vagal safety (connection, creativity, curiosity) — your whole field changes.
You become magnetic.
Your energy communicates “I’m safe, I’m steady, I can hold this.”

That’s not woo — it’s co-regulation.
It’s your nervous system broadcasting calm confidence to the people around you, even in the way you show up online. 

And that’s what leadership really is: energetic authority.

This is exactly the kind of work we do inside Women Who Lead — combining practical leadership strategy and self esteeem recovery with somatic awareness and energy intelligence so you can expand your capacity, lead with authenticity, and create real impact.

"She had a softer personality" FML 🙄

Not everyone want your leadership energy... and that's okay! One of our Sisterhood wrote to me recently after losing out on a senior marketing role.
She’d aced every round. The recruiter told her she was “more than capable.”

But the (male) CEO chose another candidate — because she had a “softer personality.”
Read: more compliant.

And I told her what I’ll tell you:

Your leadership energy won’t be for everyone.
That’s not a no. That’s a not yet.

Some systems can’t hold powerful women yet.
That’s okay — we’re building new ones.

My dare to you this week

If you’re ready to build your own magnetism, come practice with us.

Join the Women Who Lead free Sisterhood — a space to reconnect to your rhythm, refill your energy, and meet women who get it.

This week inside:
Monday at 12pm EST (4pm UK daylight savings): Ask Me Anything coaching call — bring your biggest leadership or career question. 
Thursday at 2pm EST (6pm UK daylight savings): Breathe it out: a breathwork journey with the incredible Kat Bowles — a truly magical experience for releasing tension and reclaiming softness through the body.

You don’t need to do this work alone.
You just need to start showing up for it.

Join the Sisterhood here.

But hear me when I say this: you don’t have to take a step back to change direction.
You just have to step forward where more people can see you.

Rooting for you always
Ruth x

Ps. I didn't realise November 27th was Thanksgiving, doh! So there are now two Reclamation Breakfasts: 
🇺🇸 New York — December 4th
🇬🇧 London — December 11th

Small tables. Big conversations.
For women ready to rise again — together.

Register your interest here.