Hello beautiful soul
This week I want to talk about BOLDness.
Not the loud, performative kind. The real kind.
The grounded, embodied, sometimes quiet but deeply undeniable kind of voice that changes rooms without needing to dominate them.
Last week, Ness Monsequeira and I hosted an intimate roundtable on cultivating + claiming your boldest voice for People, Talent and Culture leaders.
And y'all, the demand for this session was HIGH.
And what became clear very quickly is that there simply are not enough safe spaces for women to have honest conversations about voice, power, influence, and what it really takes to speak in today’s climate.
Not perform.
Not posture.
Actually speak.
And when women were given that space...?
Something softened. Something opened.
The biggest realisation that emerged was this:
Bold voice ≠ loud voice.
We’ve been sold this idea that influence means volume.
That being heard means pushing harder, speaking faster, occupying more air.
Bleurgh.
What many of the women shared was the opposite. Their most powerful moments of leadership came from grounded calmness. From clarity. From presence.
From the ability to say the thing that needs to be said without abandoning themselves in the process.
And that is a completely different skillset than what most leadership environments reward.
We also talked about ceilings.
Not just the obvious systemic ones — bias, equity gaps, structural dynamics that still shape who is listened to and who is interrupted.
But the internal ceilings too.
The patterns we absorb from culture.
From upbringing.
From years of leadership environments that subtly teach us:
Be agreeable.
Be careful.
Don’t be too much.
And here’s the thing. Those adaptations are intelligent. They helped us survive.
But survival strategies don’t always translate into leadership expansion.
And I see this again and again in my work.
Women who are brilliant. Capable. Respected.
And still monitoring themselves. Still editing their voice in real time. Still calculating how they will be perceived before they even finish forming a sentence.
One of the reasons this conversation felt so powerful is because both Ness and I have been deeply influenced by Elaine Lin Hering’s work.
Her book "Unlearning Silence" has been pivotal in helping both of us understand what actually gets in the way of speaking — not just externally, but internally.
How often we silence ourselves before anyone else has the chance to.
How often “communication challenges” are actually relational and systemic dynamics masquerading as personal shortcomings.
And the more I explore this — especially right now as I prepare for my TEDx talk in March — the more I realise how central this question is:
What is my boldest voice?
Not my loudest voice. Not my most impressive voice. My boldest voice.
The one that tells the truth even when it trembles.
The one that doesn’t perform certainty but stands rooted in clarity.
The one that speaks from embodiment rather than urgency.
Preparing for this talk has been confronting in the best way.
Because even after years of leadership and coaching, I can still feel the old patterns whispering:
Is this too much? Is this safe to say? Will this land?
And every time I return to the same realisation.
Boldness is not about pushing through fear.
It’s about staying connected to yourself while you speak anyway.
Another theme that came through strongly in the roundtable was the integration of softness and strength.
Not choosing between emotional intelligence and decisive leadership.
Not choosing between empathy and authority.
But understanding that the most effective leaders are the ones who hold both.
Soft enough to listen. Strong enough to move.
And maybe most importantly — community as acceleration.
When women are given space to speak honestly, to ask for support, to normalise the challenges we so often carry silently — something shifts.
Not because someone gives you permission. But because you realise you were never alone.
So yes, we will absolutely be running more of these sessions. Because the need is real.
And because finding your boldest voice is not a one-time breakthrough.
It’s a practice.
It evolves as you evolve.
And it is one of the most powerful things you will ever cultivate.
If something in this resonates, I’d love to hear from you.
What does your boldest voice feel like right now?
Rooting for you always
Ruth x
Ps. If this conversation about voice stirred something in you, you might also love the session I’m hosting with Marcela Oguntoye on this Thursday, February 26th.
We’ll be exploring how women blend motherhood + ambition without losing themselves — and how to lead from truth rather than performance.
Just hit reply and say ME if you want the details.
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