A love letter to my reluctant leaders 💌

Hello beautiful soul

This one is for my reluctant leaders.
My accidental, reluctant, reticent leadership heroes.

The women who feel they have more to bring — deep in their bones — but whose conscious mind says, I don’t want it.

Not because you’re incapable.
But because you’ve been watching this movie for a looooooong time.

You’ve watched what leadership has looked like.
You’ve watched women contort themselves and become worse than the men they emulate.
You’ve watched the cost, the exhaustion, the annihilation of our dignity when we get things wrong.
You’ve watched what’s been very wrong about it all.

And you’ve thought, I don’t want that. I don’t want to be them. And honey, you’ve been right.

So you tell yourself it’s not for you.
You downplay the pull, that voice inside that tells you there’s more.
You avoid the invitations, question the pay rise and promotions that you are given, asking what the cost will be.

But as a proudly spiritual human, let me tell you… the Universe gets bored of waiting, and hands you the moments that call for your leadership anyway.

Tell me I am wrong. Haha.

So let me shout out my reluctant leaders for a moment — because I know you, because I am you.

There are at least four times in my life when I did not want to lead and I had to do it anyway. See if you recognise yourself in any of them.

1. The first was early in my career in recruitment.

They gave me the title Director, I had a team of ten.
I absolutely did not believe I deserved it so I would just call myself something else when I told people what I did.

But I did the job and I did it WELL. Really well. 
I ran that business and I made it a lot of money.
I LED.

2. The second time was at Shazam.

I had joined as a recruiter and even at that level I thought I was out of my depth. But then my boss left.
And he looked at me and said, “You should do this, you could be an amazing leader here.”

I wasn’t ready.
I was scared.
I had a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t say yes.
And I said yes anyway and fought to get that role.

It was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I rocked the shit out of that role.

3. The third time was when I was offered VP of People.

By then, something had shifted in my leadership energy — enough that the role came to me.
Much bigger job, a team of fifteen, a scope far beyond anything I’d done before.

Part of me thought, I don’t want this.

But I took a deep breath and I said yes.
It was incredible.
Challenging.
Expansive.
Exactly right.

But I was incredible, and just the leader that they needed at that time.

4. And then there’s the fourth time.
   The one I reeeeeeeeeally didn’t want.

Leading my second divorce.

This past week, we actually wrapped up the final elements of my separation from my last husband: divorce, taxes, everything all set.
It was devastating and relieving all at once, in the way that divorces are.

But me, the way I navigated and led that divorce was a masterclass in leadership.

I let myself have space for my feelings in a real way first and foremost.
I stayed anchored in what I knew was true and what I needed.
I stood unwavering in the decision to divorce — even while holding love and grace.

Heck, I even asked my husband for feedback on how I’d been as a wife.
Not because I caused the divorce.
But because I wanted to lead with integrity and take the learnings I needed to take forward into the rest of my life.

Through feminine energy.
Through embodiment.
Through power that didn’t need to dominate.

We ended with what I can only describe as a beautiful divorce.

So this is to my reluctant leaders.

You know who you are.

And I want to ask you something.

What would your life look like if you said yes to that promotion that paid you £30,000 ($40,000) more — like I did?

What would change if you said no to the relationship that’s rotting you from the inside out — like I did?

What would open if you said yes to the parts of yourself you keep shelving because they feel too big, too bold, too much — like I did?

You don’t have to become someone else to lead.

You just have to stop abandoning yourself.

The next group starts this month, find out all about it here. The early bird discount ($1000) is now live and will be until February 10th. Use the code EARLYBIRD when you sign up.

Make it beautiful.
Make it bold.
Make it you.

Rooting for you always

Ruth x

Ps. If you are on the fence, let's talk! Find time on my calendar here.