Hello beautiful soul
I wonder if you are as tired as I was, buckling under the weight of perfectionism?
But wait…
I like to do a proper job.
I want to do good work.
I want to be a good person.
And all of those beautiful desires leave one person losing: YOU.
But how do we unlearn something that’s been baked into us since girlhood?
Two words: together
Because perfectionism isn’t just a personality quirk. It’s a survival strategy.
It’s how we learned to stay safe. To stay liked. To stay employed. To stay in the room.
Be nice.
Be competent.
Be helpful.
Be everything to everyone—without needing too much, asking too much, or taking up too much space.
Sound familiar?
This is how so many of us learned to lead: by minimising our needs, ignoring our bodies, and proving our worth at every turn.
But here’s the thing: You can’t perform your way into power.
Perfectionism is a cage.
A shiny one, maybe—but a cage nonetheless.
It keeps us small.
It keeps us scared.
It keeps us striving instead of living.
And I’ve been thinking a lot about how it hides the truth of who we are. Because intimacy—real connection—only happens when we let people see us. Intimacy = into me you see.
But that’s the exact opposite of what many of us were taught. Especially as women.
We were groomed to perform. To impress. To get it “right.” To always have the answer.
I remember when I first started leading Talent at Shazam.
I was so determined to prove myself. To seem like I knew it all. To be worthy of the seat I’d been given.
And in doing so—I started to lose my superpower: connection.
The ability to drop in with people at a heart level.
To see them. To let them see me.
Instead, I was stuck in performance.
Working all the hours.
Pushing through exhaustion.
Too scared to even take a day off.
I see it all the time in the brilliant women I work with, exhausted from holding it all together, terrified to drop the mask in case everything else crumbles too.
Eventually, I realised something.
What I needed wasn’t to prove myself.
It was to invite others in.Into the journey. Into the decisions. Into the mess and the brilliance.
So I started asking for input. I made space to learn out loud. I got curious about what wasn’t working—and let others help me fix it.
That meant taking off the perfectionist cloak.
Letting people see the truth of who I was.
And something wild happened: they respected me more.
Not because I had all the answers.
But because I was honest. Grounded. Real.
One of my clients told me recently:
“I didn’t even realise how hard I was trying to be perfect at work—until I finally stopped. And I’ve never felt more respected.”
If you notice yourself spinning in self-doubt or over-preparing… pause.
Put a hand on your body.
And ask: What would I do here if I trusted that I’m already enough?
Because here’s the truth:
You don’t have to be perfect to lead powerfully.
You just have to be honest.
That’s the revolution.
That’s why I built Women Who Lead.
Because I’m sick of coaching programs that make women feel worse about ourselves.
That sell us a solution by first convincing us we’re broken.
That say we’re not enough until we buy their thing.
That promise we’ll finally be ready… once we do one more course.
It’s manipulative.
It’s extractive.
And it’s built on the very systems that taught us to doubt ourselves in the first place.
Here’s what I believe:
You’re not missing anything.
You’re not behind.
You don’t need to be fixed.
What you might need is a space to remember who you are.
To reclaim your voice.
To clear the noise.
To reconnect with the truth that’s been inside you all along.
That’s why Women Who Lead isn’t about becoming someone else.
It’s about becoming you—again.
No shame. No “shoulds.” No smoke and mirrors.
Just real work. Real growth. Real leadership.
Because the world doesn’t need more perfect women.
It needs more powerful ones—who lead from within.
The waitlist for the next round of Women Who Lead—starting September 10th—is now OPEN. Sign up here to be first to know when the spots for this cohort open up.
If you’ve been thinking about joining, now’s the time.
Spots always go fast, and I’ll be opening up my calendar in August for discovery calls.
Rooting for you always
Ruth x
We’ll explore how to stop people-pleasing, own your voice, and speak from your leadership energy—even in the moments that feel tricky.
You’ll learn:
– How to read power dynamics and own your role in the room
– What gets in the way of clear, confident communication
– Practical tools to navigate difficult conversations—without spiralling
– Why your voice is one of your most powerful leadership tools
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