PSA: Stop telling women how to speak and how to be at work 🤬

Hello beautiful soul

Every week, I hear from women who feel like they’re the problem.

They’re not.
You’re not.

It usually starts small:

“I shared an idea and someone told me to soften my tone.”
“I spoke with confidence and got told I was intimidating.”
“I admitted I was nervous—and someone told me that was a mistake.”

That last one? A real story from a brilliant woman I spoke with just this week.
She showed up with honesty. And was told not to.

And that’s where the erosion begins.

Tiny, loaded, well-meaning “corrections” that make us start to question ourselves.
We stop trusting our voice.
We start to shrink.
And eventually we say the words I’ve heard a hundred times:

“I don't deserve to be here. I have imposter syndrome.”

But here’s the truth:
You don’t.

Because an imposter is someone pretending to be something they’re not—to deceive, to defraud.
That’s not you. That’s not us.
What you’re feeling isn’t fraudulence. It’s fear.

And that fear is ancient.

At our core, we are wired for belonging.
Once upon a time, being rejected by the group could mean death—so we did everything we could to stay in favour.
For many of us, especially the people pleasers, that meant rejecting ourselves first. Shrinking. Contorting. Staying small to stay safe.

But there is another way.

For me, that shift started with a single act:
I began building my casefile of excellence.

Because I realised I didn’t have to keep relying on the world to remind me of my worth.
I could start reminding myself.

Here’s how it worked:

Every time someone gave me a compliment, some meaningful feedback, or simply saw me clearly—I wrote it down. I recorded the date, who said it, what they said, and how it made me feel.

Here are a few real entries from mine:

That file became a lifeline.

In moments of doubt, or when I was about to do something scary, I could turn to it and remember—this is who I really am.

It was the beginning of building a new relationship with myself.
Of learning to love the parts I once thought I had to hide.
Of seeing, clearly, the value I bring to the world.

So if you’ve ever felt like a fraud, like you’re one mistake away from being “found out,” I want to tell you this:

You’re not the imposter.
You’re the real thing in a system that still struggles to hold your brilliance.

Start your casefile today.

Open a note, a folder, a journal—whatever works.
Write this as your first entry:

“My power was never the problem.”

Then add one thing you’re proud of.
And tomorrow, add another.

And if you need a few reminders while your belief is still catching up, borrow mine:

– You are worthy of all the opportunities you’ve been given.
– You are allowed to not know something—and still belong.
– Your needs are just as important as everyone else’s.
– Your boundaries make space for others to build theirs.
– You are smart. You are beautiful. You are already enough.

Let this be the day you stop doubting and start documenting.
You don’t need to prove your worth.
Just remember it.

On the podcast week, in our season finale, we meet Emily Lincoln-Gordon—former General Counsel turned COO, board director, and executive coach.

In this conversation, we explore what happens when you stop trying to lead like everyone else—and start leading like you.

We talk about:
– Reinventing your career (even when it doesn’t make sense on paper)
– Holding power with softness and conviction
– What happens when women stop performing and start leading with truth

Or listen to Women Who Lead wherever you get your podcasts.

Finally, early bird pricing for Women Who Lead ends May 30th for the group that starts June 10th. 

This is your sign to stop playing small and start showing up fully.

Book a call with me here.

Let’s find out if it’s your time.

Rooting for you always
Ruth x