A love letter to the women who showed me what leadership could be 💌

Hello beautiful soul

This is a big L LOVE letter.
To three women who crossed my path and changed me forever.
To the data that shows us why their stories matter.
To you—because I know you’re carrying your own whispers of truth right now.

To us.

Before I dive in, quick flag that this week is the FINAL week to sign up for Women Who Lead September group aka Sisterhood, there are only a couple of spots left, so hit reply if you want in. I have linked my Calendly here too. 

Let's start with a tale of three phenomenal women and soul sisters.

Before my mid-30s, I had only witnessed women in leadership who were leading through oppression and control.

I can’t dress that up any more nicely than it is. One of the most uncomfortable truths we need to face as women is the way we oppress each other. Because really, what are we doing gang!?

We are oppressing ourselves.

And yet—I want to give grace to the women who have shown up badly too. Because it always comes from pain, from oppression. The great thing about adulting is this: when we know different, we get to do different.

And then, finally, I got to witness women who showed me another way.

The Chief Marketing Officer.
Dropped into an almost all-male leadership team. Sold the dream, but given no resources and no budget.
When she laid out a strategy and asked clearly for what she needed, she was told to deliver it anyway. Then gaslit for daring to name the obvious. She left—and went on to soar.

The VP of Product.
Asked to step in as Interim CPO when her male counterpart departed. She said yes, but asked for her compensation to be reviewed whilst she did that. The leadership team and board recoiled in disgust. How very dare she!?
She did the role for a short time, then moved on to lead elsewhere—with more freedom, more respect. And she soared.

The CEO.
This one is personal. In my role as Chief People Officer, I built teams for emerging businesses. What I inherited was a bunch of white men from consulting firms, ruling the roost. Getting her into that CEO seat meant persuading a board that resisted every step. She landed. She led. She thrived. But only with caveats—like a probation period much longer than what was normal.

[Side note: this is one of the fires that lit within me that fuelled my work today—because, seriously!? F$%^ that.]

Each of them taught me something: humility, grace, strength, courage... but also, the power of knowing when it is time to leave.
And most of all—they taught me that it’s possible. To lead in a way that inspires and doesn’t involve forcing others to shrink.

Now let's zoom out and see the bigger picture with a little data...

Since January this year it has been reported that 212,000 women overall have left the U.S. workforce, while 44,000 men entered. (Bureau of Labor Statistics, via TIME and Washington Post)

But a more recent report states that in just three recent months alone, 300,000 Black women have exited the workforce, pushing their unemployment rate to 6.3%—nearly double that of white women. (Women Business Collaborative, Aug 2025)

Black women face some of the harshest conditions in the workplace—navigating both racism and sexism in ways that are often invisible to others. And yet, the Black women I’ve had the privilege to know have taught me so much about strength, grace, and leadership. When Black women are pushed out, silenced, or shamed—we all lose.

Different sources, but together, they paint the same picture in the US:
Women—are being pushed out of work, one way or another, at catastrophic levels.

And these are just the numbers I have seen reported. But the truth is... these are not just numbers. These are mothers. Innovators. Visionaries.
These are the women whose voices and choices shape our world.

So what is the answer? 

We dig deep and lead our way out of it with LOVE. 

That might sound scary. It might be messy. But y'all, what we’re living right now isn’t working.

I look back and see my younger self—shrinking to stay safe, performing to be liked, pushing through exhaustion because I thought that was leadership.

But then I remember the many powerful women in leadership that I’ve had the privilege to witness.

They showed me:
→ Leadership is not perfection—it is presence.
→ Power is not domination—it is truth.
→ Courage is not the absence of fear—it is the willingness to act anyway.

And that is still my work today.
To build spaces where women don’t have to fight the same battles—least of all against each other.
To remind you that you are not broken, not behind, not too much.

You are the proof.

Okay, your turn...

Who are the phenomenal women you’ve witnessed—mentors, colleagues, bosses, peers—who showed you what leadership could look like?

Reply and tell me your stories. If I get enough, I’d love to honour them in a future newsletter. 

Because this is how we rise. Not by shrinking. Not by performing. But side by side, in truth and Sisterhood. 

Rooting for you always
Ruth x

Ps. One last reminder that this is the final week to sign up for Women Who Lead September Sisterhood. Hit reply if you want in and we'll arrange to speak. 

If you want to read more about the program, you can do that here.