They were NEVER going to find me out 🤫

Hello beautiful soul

I want to tell you about the day I got the job at Shazam in 2013.

I had been in recruitment for thirteen years by that point. Thiiiiiiiirteeeeeeeeeeen years. But I had spent those years agency side — and in those days, those who are in People, Culture and Talent will know that that meant you were very much percieved as the poor relation to an in-house team. The gap between the two felt enormous. Like there was a whole other world of proper HR people and then there was me, on the outside of it, looking in.

So when Shazam offered me the role, my first thought wasn't excitement.

It was terror.

They are going to find me out.

They are going to realise I am not qualified to be here.

They are going to look more closely and see that I don't really belong in this world. And when they do, there is nothing I can do about it. I just have to work as hard as I possibly can and hope that the moment never comes.

So that is what I did.

I worked. I gave everything I had. I showed up every single day waiting for the tap on the shoulder that never came.

And instead of finding me out... they made me permanent. Yep. That's right, they offered me the full time role of Director of Talent. 

And then they expanded my role. And then they expanded it again. Until I was leading talent globally. 

Five years later Shazam was acquired by Apple.

I went from total lack of self-belief to a successful exit. From waiting to be found out to building something I am genuinely proud of. From the poor relation to the person who helped shape the culture of a company that changed how the world listens to music.

And here is the thing.

I was never unqualified. Not for a single day.

The thirteen years of experience were real. The capability was real. The only thing that wasn't real was the story I was telling myself about it.

We call that imposter syndrome.

And it is everywhere. Research suggests that up to seventy percent of people experience it at some point — but for women it runs deeper and it stays longer. Because for us it is not just about confidence. It is about a system that has spent decades sending us the message that we are the exception in the room, not the rule. That our presence requires more justification. That our credibility is always somehow more provisional than the man sitting next to us.

We learn to edit ourselves before we speak.

We wait until we are one hundred percent certain before we raise our hand.

We carry our achievements lightly — attributing success to luck or timing or other people — because owning it fully feels dangerous somehow.

And all the while we are building extraordinary things.

Here is what my TEDx talk is really about.

Imposter syndrome doesn't exist. Not in the way we think it does. What we call imposter syndrome is not a flaw in you. It is an intelligent adaptation to a system that was not built with you in mind. The self-doubt is not the problem. It is a signal. And once you understand what it is actually telling you — everything begins to shift.

This week I want to invite you into a room with me for FREE.

Actually, several rooms. Pick however many call to you.

1. If you are in People and Culture and you are ready to stop self-silencing and find your boldest voice — I am hosting an intimate roundtable on Zoom with the brilliant Vanessa Monsequeira. Only three spots left. This one is small by design so the conversation can go deep.

Register here for May 14th: luma.com/pg3a0irq

2. If you have a number in your head — a salary, a rate, a title — and you have not asked for it yet, join me for a LinkedIn Live on exactly that. Why brilliant women consistently under-ask, what is actually happening in your body when you go to have that conversation, and how to hold your number without apologising for it.

Register here for May 22nd: luma.com/phcu1yo1

3. If you are tired of walking out of rooms wishing you had said the thing — join me for a LinkedIn Live on why we freeze, edit, and over-explain, and how to stop. Not a confidence pep talk. The real conversation about what is actually happening and what to do about it.

Register here for May 29th: luma.com/k4ebwfq1

4. And if you are in London — or can get there — come and be in the room with me in person on Thursday 4th June.

We are gathering at Huckletree on Oxford Street from 9 to 11am. We will watch the TEDx talk together and then go deeper in a live workshop. Clarissa Sowemimo-Coker will be joining us — a former CEO who leads from the full truth of who she is and has navigated boards and the highest levels of organisational life with that same sovereignty.

This one is SPECIAL. Breakfast + Sisterhood = magic

Register here for June 4th IRL: luma.com/ynijof5e

However and wherever you show up my darling — I am glad you are here.

Rooting for you always

Ruth x

Ps. You were NEVER the problem.