Hello beautiful soul
Maybe you've noticed it a little too...?
(Yes, it's Fall, and it's STUNNING, but not that part.)
You're a bit more tired some days than you used to be. Your brain sometimes goes foggy mid sentence in a meeting you'd normally run in your sleep. Your body is changing even though you haven't changed a thing. You're doing everything "right" and somehow it's all feeling more stressy. And you can't quite tell anymore what's the stress of your life and what's something else entirely.
That something else is often perimenopause, which can kick in as early as our mid to late 30's for some of us. Maybe you aren't quite there yet.
Regardless of when it starts, most of us go through it at incredibly demanding moments in our careers. Quietly. On our own. And often blaming ourselves for what we are experiencing.
And I know that because I have felt it, I feel it now and because you told me.
In my What's Actually Real study this year I asked women about this season of life. About half of the women who answered said you know a little, or not enough at all.
And of the women who said they understand it well two thirds are still figuring it out alone. Knowing more isn't getting us more support.
Of the women already in it only around 12% felt genuinely supported.
That's roughly one in eight of us.
You told me you're learning about it from Instagram and podcasts and friends. Some of you know more than your doctor now. Some of you said you knew nothing at all and just went through it.
And then there's work. Brain fog being treated as incompetence. Losing a thought mid sentence and having your intelligence questioned. Being called emotional when you're actually passionate. One of you said you can't talk about menopause and still expect to be promoted. So you keep it to yourself.
And that's the part that breaks my heart for us.
Because this isn't new. When I asked my mum about her menopause she said it happened when she was in her fifties. That was all she had to tell me. Her generation didn't get to know what we know now. She would have just felt stressed and struggling and not known why. So many women before us carried this quietly and assumed it was them.
And so many brilliant women are still being quietly moved aside. Settlement agreements. Sidelined after babies. Treated like our best years are behind us. What a load of absolute BS.
I don't believe it for a second... because just look at what happened this week my darling.
At least 17 women will be governors in America next year. A new record. Around a third of every governor in the country. In red states and blue states. From both parties. Georgia elected the first Black woman governor in US history. New Mexico elected the first Native American woman governor. Texas elected its first Latina governor. And women made history in the Senate too.
So many of these women are in midlife and beyond. In exactly this season. And they're leading whole states.
That is what this season is for. And that is what I'm calling you forward to. It's time to fall for Fall baby.
The autumn of our lives might be one of the most magnificent seasons there is. I call her The Alchemist. And somehow we've been taught to be terrified of her.
Have you been into a forest lately? Have you seen the leaves turning? The reds and the golds and that deep burnt orange. Nothing about it looks like an ending. It's the most spectacular the trees ever get.
And underneath it all something new is getting ready to be born.
I think that's what happens in us too. This is the season we're being called to leadership. Real leadership. The kind that comes from a woman who has stopped performing and knows exactly who she is.
Because here's what nobody tells you about this season. For most of our lives our hormones and our conditioning keep us pointed outwards. Looking after everyone. Keeping everyone okay. And in perimenopause something turns. We start pointing some of that care back at ourselves.
The fucks genuinely get fewer. And, from where at stand at 46, it already feels so fucking powerful.
Not selfish. Self focused. Finally.
Some of you said it in the study too. That you've entered a whole new phase of not taking any nonsense. And that it's a good thing.
I'm right there with you, but I also don't want you to white knuckle this season alone. To understand what's happening in your body. To work with it instead of against it. And to make this the strongest chapter of your life and your career.
So I'm building something.
In January I'm running a brand new twelve week program for women in this season. It's the very first time I'm running it and I am planning to make it hella accessible. Twelve weeks together to understand what's changing. To stop doing this alone. And to point all that fierce new self focus at the career and the life you actually want next.
And if any of this really landed for you I'd LOVE to hear from you anyway. Hit reply and tell me what this season has been like. As much or as little as you like. It will shape what we build together.
Rooting for you AND YOUR STRONGEST CHAPTER always
Ruth x
Ps. Not quite there yet but you can feel it coming? Join the waitlist anyway baby, this is a Sisterhood flex. That means we walk together from wherever we stand right now.
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