Hello beautiful soul
I have something to tell you and I'm SO excited I can barely type.
But first. Let me tell you what it means to speak life into and over something or someone.
I experience it all over NYC. Women in particular speak LIFE into and OVER each other. “You look sensational.” “I love this thing about you.”
I’ve done it in all of my personal relationships too. “I believe in you. You can do this!” “Look at what you pulled off last time. You can totally do it again.” “You look incredible in green.”
I bet you have too.
But have you really done a good job of speaking life into yourself and your own journey?
It's a little harder, right? Let's fix that.
Now I'm going to tell you the same story twice.
Version one. I took a temporary job as a recruiter at Shazam. They offered it to me permanently. I stayed almost five years. We sold the company to Apple.
Version two. I was headhunted by someone in my network. Hired because of my scrappy recruitment background and my skill at building systems that scale, right at the moment Shazam had just secured 40 million dollars of investment. I was brought in to scale and I took the company towards an exit and became their first ever permanent Talent Acquisition Director. Over time I moved into retention and engagement, leadership development and leading on culture. I was the voice of Shazam internally and externally. And then we secured a successful exit to Apple. I chose to leave at that time to leap into a bigger job as VP of People, leading a team of 15.
Both true. Every single word.
Only one of them gets you paid. Only one of them gets you the bigger role. Only one of them helps you see the amazingness you actually brought to something.
And here's what gets me. Most women I know could tell version two about their best friend in about four minutes. We are BRILLIANT at fighting for everyone else's promotion. But when it's our turn? Our own evidence becomes strangely inadmissible. We tell version one. We prove a bit more. And we wait to be noticed.
So why are we here?
It's not because something in you is broken. I said this on the TEDx stage and I'll keep saying it until every woman has heard it.
When your body learns early and often that visibility carries risk. That speaking up invites correction. That taking up space leads to punishment or withdrawal. Self-doubt isn't a flaw. Self-doubt is actually a highly intelligent adaptation.
I wasn't broken when I couldn't speak life into and over myself. I was fluent in a system that had taught me exactly how to stay safe as a woman.
And so are you.
When millions of women learn that same lesson we don't get a confidence crisis. We get a collective misdiagnosis. So I gave it a different name. I call it the Authenticity Gap. The space between who you truly are and who you feel safe to be.
And it isn't just inside you. It lives in the invisible agreements about who gets to belong. Who gets to lead. Who feels safe enough to be fully seen. That gap is the invisible cage. And conditional belonging is how the cage is enforced.
So notice where you have learned to shrink in order to belong.
Every microscopic moment you hold back makes sense. The achievement you leave off the slide. The sentence you soften before it's even left your mouth. The ask you save for next quarter. Then the quarter after that. Your body is doing exactly what it learned to do. Keeping you safe. And we love her for it.
But here's the hard truth. Holding back isn't just costing you the career you want. It's costing you the chance to be all of who you are.
As I said in that talk. The hesitation you feel is not a flaw. It's a signal.
And honestly? Your career is the perfect place to start listening to it. Because it's concrete. There's a number. There's a title. There's a conversation with a date in the diary. And every time you say version two out loud your body learns something new. That being seen can be safe. That you can take up the space you've already earned.
I know because I had to learn it too. I once pitched my boss for a promotion into a job that didn't even exist yet. The answer was no. My next job was far bigger. VP of People. Leading a team of fifteen on an exec team.
And then something shifted. I said it on that stage too. I stopped organising my life around earning belonging and learnt how to belong to myself. I negotiated hard. I regulated my nervous system instead of abandoning myself. And I stopped fighting for space and started embodying it.
Chief People Officer. Paid almost at CEO level. Four day weeks where I earned MORE money for fewer hours.
None of it was handed to me. When you close the Authenticity Gap you stop asking to be chosen. You start showing up as someone who already belongs. And telling version two out loud is how you practise it.
So if you've ever wished I could walk into that conversation with you. Sit right next to you. Help you find the words.
I made the next best thing.
Five days. One short recording a day. Each one under ten minutes. One tiny action a day. And a Women Who Lead workbook that fills up as you go. Plus a little bonus AI prompt that turns your answers into a script for the conversation itself.
By day five you walk into the conversation about your pay or your title with your case already built. Calm. Clear. Not scrambling. Knowing the exact sentence you're going to say.
I can't promise what they'll say. I can promise you'll walk in with your case built.
Yes really. Twenty seven dollars. Because I want this in the hands of every woman who is good at her job. Who knows it. And who still hasn't asked.
You're not lacking evidence darling. That's the biggest plot reveal of all.
You are not lacking. You are worthy. You are capable.
You're brilliant at fighting for everyone else's case.
This week you build yours.
Get Promoted + paid here: https://www.womenwholead.us/promoted-and-paid
Rooting for you always
Ruth x
Ps. When you've done day five hit reply and tell me what you're asking for. I will read and reply to every one. And I'll be cheering you into that room from here!
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