Hello beautiful soul
Let’s get this straight: the female nervous system isn’t a “gentler” version of the male one.
It’s an entirely different system — with different wiring, different chemistry, and different needs.
And if you really think about it, that makes perfect sense. Our bodies do things that men’s bodies simply don’t. Not small things, either — big, powerful, cyclical processes. We bleed. We create life. We birth. We transition through menopause. We rise, fall, and rise again, month after month, year after year.
And yet, most of the world still expects us to regulate and show up like men.
As a 45-year-old woman in perimenopause, learning how our nervous systems actually work — how we work — has been nothing short of life-changing. It’s helped me feel more at home in my body, more connected to my truth, and more powerful in my leadership.
But truthfully…? I needed this wisdom years ago. In every season. And that’s why I’m sharing it with you now.
Because real talk? These truth bombs about the female nervous system aren’t just fascinating. They’re foundational.
Let’s begin.
Truth Bomb #1: Your body feels stress and safety differently
The vagus nerve, which governs our sense of calm and connection, connects directly to the cervix in women. In men, it doesn’t connect to the reproductive organs at all.
This means women literally feel stress and safety in the pelvis — in the womb space.
It’s not just emotional. It’s biological.
Why this matters:
Fear lives in the body — at the seat of the root chakra, the base of your spine. When that part of us is holding fear, we can feel even less safe, even more disconnected. The work isn’t to push through it — it’s to gently learn how to create your own safety. To come home to your body, not override it. That’s where true regulation begins.
Side note: The vagus nerve is the part of the nervous system that helps us feel calm and connected. In women, it runs all the way to the cervix — which means we feel stress and safety in places science has only just begun to understand.
Truth bomb #2: You are wired for connection
Women evolved with a more sensitive social nervous system — we read tone, track faces, and detect subtle shifts in safety.
This wasn’t weakness. It was survival.
It helped us protect, nurture, and raise the next generation.
We regulate through oxytocin — the hormone of connection.
Which means rest alone isn’t enough.
We also need belonging. We need each other.
Why this matters:
Modern life tells women to “go it alone” — but our bodies are wired for co-regulation. If you're burning out in silence, it may be because you're missing the nervous system support that only real connection provides. Reaching out isn’t a luxury. It’s medicine.
Truth Bomb #3: People-pleasing is often a freeze response
When a woman says “yes” while everything inside her says “no,” she’s not being polite — she may be frozen.
That freeze lives in the body.
I’ve felt it myself — especially in workplaces, especially around male authority.
I said yes to things I didn’t believe in. I smiled and nodded through moments that deserved resistance.
Then I’d walk away wondering: What just happened?
What I’ve learned: my nervous system was trained to associate being liked with safety. And that fear — unspoken, deep in the body — is exhausting.
Over time, it makes us numb, disconnected, and tired.
What if your people-pleasing is actually your nervous system trying to protect you?
Why this matters:
You’re not weak, flaky, or indecisive. You’re likely navigating invisible safety cues that live in your biology. The more awareness you build, the more choice you reclaim — to respond instead of freeze, to lead instead of perform.
Truth Bomb #4: You’re living on two clocks
Most systems — especially at work — run on the 24-hour circadian rhythm, which mirrors the male hormonal cycle.
But women run on two body clocks.
The second is the infradian rhythm — a monthly cycle that impacts our nervous system, mood, energy, and capacity.
It looks something like this:
Menstruation (Inner Winter): The descent. Your body needs stillness and rest.
Follicular (Inner Spring): Energy returns. Curiosity, lightness, creativity rise.
Ovulation (Inner Summer): Magnetic and clear. This is your most social, expressive phase.
Luteal (Inner Autumn): Boundaries sharpen. Sensitivity increases. Time to edit, discern, refine.
This rhythm isn’t a flaw. It’s wisdom.
And leading from it isn’t indulgent. It’s deeply intelligent.
Why this matters:
If you expect yourself to show up the same every day, you’ll always feel like you’re falling short. But when you honour your cyclical nature, you unlock new levels of efficiency, creativity, and power — without the burnout.
What would it feel like to trust your body again..? Really.
To say no — and mean it?
To lead from your nervous system, not against it?
That's the work that we are doing together in Women Who Lead. If you want to find out more about it, book a call with me here.
What are your questions on this? Hit reply and let me know!
Women Who Lead, the podcast, is BACK!
What's even better is that you can WATCH or LISTEN, depending on your vibe.
In the latest episode of Women Who Lead, I sit down with the phenomenal Clarissa Sowemimo-Coker—CEO, strategic leader and cultural architect—to explore what it really means to lead with strength, softness, and strategy.
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Okay gang, that's it for me this week. You know where I am if you need me.
Rooting for you always
Ruth x
Ps. To find out more about Women Who Lead you can go here. The first cohort of the new program starts later this month!
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