Hello beautiful soul
One of the oldest lies we’ve been sold about women is this:
We’re unhinged.
Too emotional.
Too changeable to be trusted with the “serious” stuff.
The word hysteria?
It comes from the Greek hystera—meaning uterus.
For centuries, women were literally diagnosed as “hysterical” for showing strong emotion, having desires of our own, or simply existing in ways that men didn’t understand.
Doctors prescribed rest cures, institutionalisation—and in extreme cases, hysterectomies—under the guise of “treating” us.
Translation: remove the perceived source of the problem.
Meanwhile, the history books are full of the destruction caused by men’s unchecked emotions—wars sparked from ego, economies wrecked by greed, decisions made in rage.
And yet we’re the ones told to “calm down.”
Oh. Kay. THEN.
Here’s the truth: our so-called “changeability” is not a weakness.
It’s intelligence.
It’s adaptability.
It’s the capacity to move with what’s real, not just what’s written down.
So my invitation?
Let’s stop defending ourselves against the label unhinged.
Let’s take it. Wear it. Use it.
Some of the most defining moments of my career came from making choices that looked completely unhinged from the outside.
1. Like the time I turned down security for a three-month temp role.
I had an offer for a safe, permanent job with a rail company, a step up from where I was.
And then this short-term role at Shazam came up.
It didn’t make logical sense. But something in me said: This is the one. This is your chance at a career defining role.
So I jumped.
And it was.
I got to build their talent function from scratch, help scale the business, and be part of their successful exit to Apple. It shaped my career in ways I could never have predicted.
2. Or the time I took myself on a “rogue” work trip.
I was working for a challenging boss who didn’t want me involved in certain parts of the business. OKAY THEN.
So, under the guise of a vacation, I flew to our New York office to meet people face-to-face.
I came home with connections that still ripple through my work today—some of my current clients trace back to that one audacious week.
3. Then there was becoming a yoga teacher while working full-time.
No one in my corporate circle understood it, surely that would make people take me less seriously as a leader...? OKAY THEN.
The reality? Standing at the front of that class, leading from my body, holding the energy of a room—it cracked me open as a leader in a way no corporate training ever could. Leadership energy unlocked.
4. Or saying no to “bigger” in favour of “better.”
I turned down a high-paying big ticket offer in Talent for a role that felt more expansive. VP People, leading a team of 15. My first "proper" HR job.
And to be even more unhinged... I evem pushed back on the offer until they paid me more than the big ticket offer—and let me work a four-day week. My salary went up £30,000 and I was working less hours.
5. And finally—leaving before it was “time.”
That role was great, I learnt heaps, but when the chance came to build leadership teams inside a corporate at bp Launchpad, I jumped again. I left at under two years in that role because something in me said: This is the one. This is your chance at another career defining role.
It was the final piece that set me up to be the leadership expert I am today, and gave me the experience to be able to coach and create leadership development at startups, scaleups and corporates alike.
None of these moves were tidy.
Some made me unpopular.
ALL of them scared me.
But each one brought me closer to myself.
So maybe it’s time YOU made a move that doesn’t make sense on paper.
One that makes people raise their eyebrows.
One that feels a little… unhinged.
Because they’ve been calling us unhinged for centuries anyway.
So f$%k it—let’s show them what happens when we stop trying to prove we’re anything else.
Say the darn thing
📅 Thursday, August 8th
🕚 8am EST / 1pm UK
Learn to stop people-pleasing and start speaking with leadership energy—even in tricky moments. Sign up here. Replay available for signup.
Rooting for you and your sweet soulful audacity always
Ruth x
Ps. Applications are OPEN for Women Who Lead September cohort. If you want to hear more, book some time with me next week here. The earlier than early bird 25% discount ends this Friday, August 22nd.
Responses