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"I don't even think I want to lead" - said ALL Women Who Lead (at least once 🙃)

May 12, 2025
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Hello beautiful soul 

I’ve been thinking about something I hear a lot.

Women—brilliant, capable, high-achieving women—telling me:
“I just don’t think I even want to lead.”

Not because we don’t care.
But because we don’t want to lead like that.

Not if it means burning out, staying small, or becoming someone they’re not.

And honestly? I get it.

Because the data backs it up.
→ 76% of high-performing women receive negative feedback.
→ Only 2% of high-performing men do.

We’re not talking about average performers here either.
These are women who are crushing it at work—and still being told they’re “too much,” “not nice enough,” or “hard to work with.”

Meanwhile, the men performing at the same level?
Praised. Encouraged. Promoted.

So when a woman says she doesn’t want to lead, it makes sense.

What we see confirms the story.
That it’s safer not to try.
That leadership costs too much.

But beneath the fear—
Beneath the self-protection—
I believe something else is true.

That deep down, we are ALL warriors.

Not in the armour-wearing, sword-swinging kind of way—
But in the fierce, heart-led kind.
The kind who move from love.
Who hold a vision for something better.
Who want to build rather than just survive.

So yes, we say we don’t want to lead.
But maybe what we really mean is: We don’t want to lose ourselves doing it.

And we don’t have to.

I’ve been turning back to one of my anchors lately: the Bhagavad Gita.

If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll know I’m a yogi—not just in practice, but in principle. To me, yoga is about truth. Union. Integrity.

In the Gita, the warrior Arjuna freezes before battle. He doesn’t want to fight. It feels terrifying. Pointless.

But Krishna tells him:
Sometimes, the right thing IS to fight. Turning away won’t bring peace—not when the fight is tied to your purpose. 

That’s what women’s leadership feels like to me.

Not a fight for dominance—but a call to truth. To rewrite the rules. To lead as we are.

Beat with me for a minute, and just imagine what could that look like...

– Intuition over metrics... mmmm dreamy ✨
– Energy that’s managed, not depleted... YES more of this please!
– Strength expressed through softness, empathy, honesty... ALL. OF. THAT. 

This isn’t about fixing women. It’s about torching the lie that leadership means erasing ourselves.

Because it doesn’t. It never did.

So here’s my invitation:

Don’t lead like them.
Lead like you.

Not to survive.
To create.
To shape something new.

The next cohort of Women Who Lead begins June 10th, and the waitlist opens this Thursday.
You can add your name here.

And if you want to hear what this kind of leadership sounds like in real life...

...check out my latest podcast episode with the brilliant Ness Monsequeira.

Before stepping into her current role, Ness often wondered how much of herself she’d have to hide just to succeed.

18 months later? She’s not waiting for permission anymore.

Women Who Lead | Authenticity, alignment and amplifying voices with Ness Monsequeira

She’s owning her difference. Her fire. Her full self.
And she’s leading—in a way that finally feels true.

[Side note: Ness is also part of Women Who Lead, and I am DEEPLY honoured to walk alongside her as coach and thought partner] 

And she's rooting for all of y'all just as much as I am. I promise you!

Rooting for you always

Ruth x

 

 

Ps. The waitlist opens this Thursday, and those on it will get early access to secure their spot for the Women Who Lead June cohort—plus a special pricing window before we open to the public. If you’re feeling the pull… add your name here. 

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